Sunday, November 24, 2013

Talking Turkey, I am No Henry Walden

San Ramon, California
November, 2013

"I still believe in the Holy Trinity, except now it's Target, Trader Joe's and IKEA."

~Jen Lancaster

To "Talk Turkey" means to talk serious about something. It's a straightforward approach to whatever is on one's mind, and is in need of being dealt with. Okay, let's talk turkey about some things. Oh don't worry, it's not the end of the world or anything, in fact, it's merely my opinion, but it's how I really feel, even if I come off a little less serious, and a little bit more... sardonic, or possibly... humorously sarcastic. If you have known me any amount of time, then you know I would much rather take the humor road to make a point, rather than punching someone between the eyes, but I am not above punching (metaphorically) speaking. Or physically if one needs it!

Just Kidding!

Shopping For Thanksgiving Dinner...

First of all, I love shopping for Thanksgiving dinner... LOVE IT! It was such a relief a few years back to finally embrace all things turkey, after a long bout of turkey wiggins, brought on by an encounter with a tainted turkey, prepared by the mother of a guy I had been dating! Ladies... talking turkey ... NEVER accept a dinner invitation to a "Thanksgiving Dinner" in June! Especially if said dinner is being hosted by your boyfriend's mother! It's a trick! She is just trying to see how fast you can forgive mistakes, and how strong your constitution is! Or maybe how well you will hold up under diversity, but one thing is for sure, Thanksgiving in June is just wrong! And so is losing your giblets from both ends for a week! Yep... a week!

Anyway, with all that unpleasantness behind me, no pun intended, I am now over it, and even making my very own roasted turkey dinner on the big holiday, in fact, I can't imagine not doing it now. It's actually a joy! A lot of work, but a joy all the same! My husband Alan enjoys cooking as well, and he is usually right there helping out any way he can. This year he has to work on Thanksgiving, which means a bit more work for me than usual, so Alan even offered to maybe give me a year off, and opt for a nice turkey roll, but I would have none of it, it was a full, bone in, frozen 18 lb. turkey in all it's plucked glory for me! I got mine at Costco.

Done And Done. The line was hideous, and I always seem to get behind someone with 2 items, but either can't find their Costco card, or is writing a check, or for whatever reason has to know every last detail about how long the frozen turkey has been in their store... and if it was in their freezer since Thanksgiving... 2007, because the saw a report on 20/20 about big box stores that store food too long! I could have used a diversion from the entertaining crazy that was happening that day, but like I said... Done And Done.

Murphy's Law And Henry Walden...

Costco was fun, but it wasn't the only store I visited last week. I was getting my shop on at IKEA as well! It seems it has finally become necessary for us to round up all those DVD cases, and get them organized in a cabinet. And Alan and I found the exact one we needed at IKEA, which just happened to be in the range of dimensions and $ we had decided on. Now I ask you, what could go wrong?

Well, as it turns out, with all the items IKEA carries, couches, chairs, tables, end tables, utility carts, flower shaped lamps, sewing machines, stuffed animals, fabric, clocks, wall hooks, entertainment centers, cutting boards, and Swedish Meatballs, what do you think was the one item that had to be specially ordered, and delivered to a warehouse in Hayward, California, for pick-up by me? Yep, the very DVD tower we picked out! So, in 5 to 25 days it will arrive, complete with instructions for assembly. Talking Turkey Mr. Murphy, wherever you are, you are a bit of a creep! And you are NO Henry Walden!


I Am No Henry Walden...

Waiting in line at stores is never a fun activity. Waiting in traffic is never fun. Waiting period is never much fun, but it seems like when doing either at certain stores, like... oh... say... Walmart, IKEA, Bed Bath And Beyond, it's even worse! Especially during the holiday season, when other people, not necessarily me mind you, might be a tad on the grumpy side. But fortunately, this past week I discovered a wonderful tool, right in my phone, which I had not previously thought of as a coping mechanism. My subscription to Netflix Mobile!

So, while those around me were hanging a puss, or yelling at their feral children, or considering setting their own hair on fire and running from the store, I was blissfully enjoying Season 2, Episode 26, of the Dick Van Dyke Show, "I'm No Henry Walden." Talking Turkey, easily one of the very best episodes of the series! But there were so many, who can narrow down a favorite? Although as the season, the holiday season that is, moves along, I expect I will have a lot of time waiting in line at various stores, and therefore more than enough time to decide which episode is my very favorite!

Or maybe I will just spend my time watching Rosemary's Baby!

Who Knows?

Mood: Pretty Darn Happy

~Me :)

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