"Goodbye isn't painful, unless you're never going to say hello again."
Never say NEVER. :)
Structure vs GOODBYE
If you are like me, you will avoid change at ALL COST. You will stay in relationships that drive you crazy. Stay in homes that fall down around you. Refuse to give up cassette tapes for those newfangled CDs. Order the same damn thing at all your favorite restaurants. Refuse to throw away a ragged old moth chewed on sweater because it just seems to "get you." LOL. You will eat your meals at the same time each day. You will do your laundry on one specific day each week, for me that day would be Thursday. But you get the picture... change BAD!
I realize that I lead an overly structured life. And I realize that the paragraph above refers to structure more then it does GOODBYES, but to me, GOODBYES cause my structured world to become discombobulated. Not the end of the world, but it makes me feel like an alien until I readjust myself to accept my new circumstances. I suppose I am obsessive/compulsive, but it's in a good way I think. For example, if you invite me for dinner, I will never be late! LOL.
Whatever the reason, to me, the worst of all blows to my equilibrium is GOODBYES. YEARS ago, as Mr. November was running, screaming from my life we had a conversation about GOODBYES. I told him that once I find something I put in roots. He laughed. I guess it was the mental picture of me, at 4 ft 11 having grown roots! Which would make me seem taller... right? LOL. I have to admit, I laughed too, but on the inside. I wasn't going to give up in the moment and admit that sometimes GOODBYES are really necessary. When it came to that GOODBYE, I pulled the emotion off like a band-aid. Quick and painful, but then it healed in time and now there is no scar... just the memory of someone I really loved and the time as it was.
This Next Part Will Make You Laugh...
Raise your hand if you miss the HELL out of Keith Olbermann! LOL. I watched that man faithfully each night while I fixed dinner. Oh MY GOD... how that man could seduce my ears with all that beautiful PROGRESSIVE talk and values. LOL. NOTHING TURNS ME ON LIKE TALKING POLITICAL PROGRESSIVENESS! LOL. I am teasing... somewhat... but not completely. I appreciated K.O. for the truths he shined a light on, but for one of the best elements of his show... "Fridays With Thurber." After a long week, when stuff in the world would go wrong, or something stupid would happen to me, like the time Alan fell on me, no matter what had happened, my Fridays would come to a gentle close as Keith read Thurber, and suddenly everything made sense again!
A week ago Keith made one of those band-aid GOODBYES like the one I had with Mr. November. The only difference was there was NO animosity with Mr. November, just a wish from both of us that we would find the roads we both needed to be on. Keith's was more of a F&$K Y^%$. We, the viewers, suddenly had the rug pulled out from under us. One of my friends lamented "what do I do now? I laughed to myself and replied... "I know I am lost too." LOL. "Who is going to help me fix dinner now?" Not really thinking about how much better Keith's life probably is now, just who is going to help me fix dinner. LOL. There is a selfishness in GOODBYES that can happen on both sides.
Goodbye To The Music...
In just a little over a month, I will be saying goodbye to my beloved cottage in the Berkeley hills, for a lovely little cottage 19 miles away in Hayward. I am going to miss this place. I have been here 10 years. We moved in with Elvis... the biggest GOODBYE I have ever said ... and we will be leaving with Dylan and Hendrix... my BIGGEST HELLO ever! One morning, not too long after we first moved in, I was sleeping like a baby in this cottage, when the phone rang. It was 9/11/01 at 9:08 AM. The voice on the phone was Alan telling me what had happened. I will never forget opening the back door, just off the kitchen, and hearing complete silence. No planes taking off from the Oakland airport. No dogs barking. No birds singing. Just quiet. It was surreal. Everybody in the area was glued to the TV, watching the news, and waiting to see what came next.
It was so quiet.
Late in the afternoon, of Tuesday September 11th, 2001, the silence was broken when the Ethereal Musician began playing "America" on his saxophone. It was the only sound outside.It meant a lot to us to hear him playing that song, at that particular moment. Of all the elements of living in this cottage, I will miss the Ethereal Musician the most. I have never met him, I don't even quite know from which direction the music comes from, all I know is that it did, and many times it brought me such comfort. Sometimes it made me smile, sometimes it made me cry a little, but in a good way. It's hard to say GOODBYE to that presence. Actually, it's almost impossible. I don't know what I will do. I guess I will be ok... but I will always smile when I think of him.
At least I think it's a him... could be a her... but somehow... I think it's a him.
Goodbye Little Birdies...
Saying GOODBYE to the Round Robins isn't easy either. I will miss choosing a subject for you, and getting together with Karen to see how we can make it better project for all of you. It is a project I am proud of. I am not sure if you know this, but the RRC was Karen's idea. It all came about because she was being a good friend to me. I was a little down in dumps, and she suggested a photography challenge between she and I. I took the challenge, and then she did one I suggested, and pretty soon some friends asked to join us, and the Round Robin Challenges was born! I don't remember what I said GOODBYE to in order to say HELLO to the challenges every 2 weeks, but whatever it was, it didn't matter. Something special had begun.
Sometimes HELLOS upset my equilibrium in really good ways. :)
Great... now I have Hello/Goodbye by the Beatles in my head! Sheesh I'm simple. LOL.
It's not really GOODBYE. I will still be around. I will be playing along with the challenges once in a while, and I still have the Monday Photo Shoot. If you want to play along, you are more then welcome to join in. Check out this blog each Monday morning... at exactly 12 midnight ET... for our next Monday Photo Shoot assignment. Whoops... there goes that structure stuff again!
:) Thanks for all the fun everyone... GO BE PHOTOGRAPHERS! Love ya!
Now that you have read my entry, go check out what my fellow Robins are up to! Just click on the links below!