Monday, January 28, 2008

And Now A Word From The Resident Of The United States

"This morning I was with the vice president. I was asking him what costume he was planning. And he said, 'I'm already wearing it.' The he mumbled something about 'the dark side of the force."

-George W. Bush, October 31st 2007

Tonight is President Bush's last State of the Union address. WOOHOO! I can't tell you how absolutely thrilled I am to have that little piece of knowledge. SIGH OF RELIEF. Honestly, aren't you just thrilled about the invention of the term limits? Well, on the other hand, maybe you believe George Bush is the best thing since term limits, and if so, ok. Personally, I don't understand your devotion, but I will agree it's your right to feel that way. But I have to ask... why? What do you feel his strongest points have been during his time in office, and what, if any were his weaknesses? I am not sure I will hear very many opinions in favor of Bush, not because there is no one out there who still believes in him, but rather because I don't think I have any conservative readers. It's ok, but if you feel like playing "Devil's Advocate" go for it!

I am looking into my hippie, gypsy crystal ball and what do I see. I see Dubya walking up to the microphone in the senate chamber and now he is speaking. (Hold on while I plug the earphones into the crystal ball). I hear him saying that the surge has worked in Iraq, that things are safer then ever. The Iraqi people are beginning to prosper, and things are going well. We can't leave however because it was just reported we lost 5 more American military lives to roadside bombings, so the winning surge must continue. I guess the mission still hasn't been accomplished.

Now he is asking that his education program, No Child Left Behind" be extended. I have to wonder where he gets the nerve on that one. It's a fact Bush himself has failed the program on funding. According to Wikipedia, "President Bush's 2008 budget allots $61 billion for the Education Department, cutting funding by $1.4 billion from last year. 44 of 50 states will receive a reduction in funding if the budget passes as is." The program has received widespread criticism from teachers, parents, and administrators regarding it's fairness in standardised testing. This program needs to be retired, it hasn't and isn't working. Can't we learn that lesson and move on to an education program that does?

I think I am going to turn away. I'm already sad. I thought his last, State of the Union, address would have made me more happy then this. Whoever our new president will be, one things for sure, they will certainly have their hands full. If a Democrat wins, we must be patient. Change will come, but it won't be overnight. Not at all. Especially if we don't unseat a few more republican senators next November. We will have to do our part. If a republican wins, well I don't believe much will change, it will be the same boat, with a different captain in appearance, but with the same narrow minded agenda. War is good, education and health care reform can wait, and who cares what the world thinks of us. Sigh.

And now a poem, comprised entirely of George Bush Quotes...

Make The Pie Higher
By George W. Bush

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen
And Uncertainty
And potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet
Become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimated me.
I am a Pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.

Families is where our nation finds hope.
Where our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher!
Make the pie higher!

You can read an interesting article about this poem at

NOTE: If you are a fan of Comedy Central's "Lil Bush" there is some good news! It will be returning with all new episodes, March 13th.

357 Days, 6 hours 16 minutes... and counting!



sunflowerkat321 said...

I didn't watch the state of the union last night. I saw no point.
I figured he would try and put a positive spin on everything....who needs to listen to him prattle on about his misguided fantasy land.
Anyone who's paying ANY attention knows too well the true state of the union....a very sorry state.

Dawn Allynn said...

I love your post, and couldn't agree more. I had to quit watching part of the way through,it was too agonizing. I find myself talking to the television at these moments, and I realize it's time to step back.

Thanks for sharing the poem too... it's great. :)


fdtate said...

I didn't watch the SOTU because I was at work, but wouldn't have watched if I could have. I get really distressed just watching words come out of his mouth. I'm glad it's the last one.

A great poem, but I wish it had included something about all those OB/GYN's that can't practice their love with women.