John Scalzi's Weekend Assignment #129: It Just Doesn't Make Sense!

"Actually I think all addiction begins with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council."

-Chris Rock

Weekend Assignment #129: Write about something that makes absolutely no sense to you, or that you find almost impossibly ironic. This covers a lot of ground, so let me make it simpler. Write about something you just don't get. You've rolled it around in your brain, you've thought about it, and it just doesn't add up. Yeah. Tell us about that thing. From the enduring popularity of talentless celebrities to people who put mayonnaise on their french fries (yes, I'm looking at you, Belgium,), there's got to be something out there that makes you go, "huh?" Or, for the kids, something that makes you go "WTF?"

Extra Credit: There's a song playing in your head right now. Tell us what it is.

-John Scalzi

Ut oh! I could get myself into big trouble pondering this assignment too much. Most of the time, when I can't seem to make something come together in my brain, it has to do with politics, and why in the world someone would support a certain politician. YIKES. My brain melts because, to date, I don't seem to be able to get a satisfying answer as to why it was good enough for George Bush's parents that he did so academically poor in school. I posed the question some time back, on my AOL journal Ellipsis, "Couldn't they have got him a tutor?" Ok, enough said about politics. How about a couple other things I find bizarre.

The Cola Wars...

I love soda, and Coco-Cola Classic is my very favorite guilty pleasure. I try not to drink the fully leaded sodas with caffeine/sugar, but it has such a yummy taste to me, that in times of stress...well... just one nice, very cold can of the delicious elixir makes everything right with the world. LOL. Also, it goes so well with a nice Black Forest Ham sandwich. LOL. So, when I indulge, I usually purchase that particular flavor exclusively, but lately, I have been noticing all kinds of new, and creative soda varieties of my favorite drink, and even those who consider themselves, "P" people can get in on the newness. Flavors like...

Coca-Cola BlaK, Mountain Dew Pitch Black, Coke Black Cherry Vanilla, Dr. Pepper Berries & Cream, Pepsi JAZZ Strawberries & Cream, Mountain Dew Baja Blast, and Coke with lemon and lime.

Sometimes it seems like cola companies are trying too hard. For years and years the straight up, regular or classic colas did pretty well for themselves. Then one day, someone came up with a genuinely good idea, and offered us our favorite sodas, sans caffeine. A great idea, because I had just discovered the wonderful world of panic attacks, and one of the things I learned was, to cut down on my caffeine intake. Duh me! It had never occurred to me that the sodas that had seen me through so many difficult times, would at some point, be the cause of some very difficult times. Well, that's not completely accurate, the sodas themselves probably never caused one of my panic attacks, but they sure didn't help it.

Now don't get me wrong here, variety is the spice of life, and soda, but with so many combinations available, how does someone, who already has a hard time being decisive, ever make up their mind? I suppose for most, it is as easy as ordering a coffee at Starbuck's. If the old-fashioned soda fountain ever comes back in style, ordering will probably be a lot like how you order your coffee at a trendy coffee house. "I would like a large, no ice, non-caffeine, classic coke, with one shot of cherry syrup and a hint of nutmeg." Or if one happens to have a terrible allergy to cherries, berries, or cream, I am sure the good old-fashioned classic sodas will be still be available and waiting for me, the soda puritans and the allergic consumers of the world. :)

FX...

Does anyone else find it annoying that cable networks like, FX, are able to turn the volume up on our televisions when the shows they air cut to commercials? Every morning when I go to bed at 5:00 am, I turn on FX to watch reruns of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer." I snuggle into the blankets, bring Elvis up really close for a cuddle, and try really hard to fall asleep to the comforting sounds of Buffy saving the world from some otherworldly ugly pugly, only to have my sleepy bliss shattered by some loud obnoxious commercials for "Nip Tuck" that is blasting at me. I know the FCC gave the networks their blessing to do such things, but really, I wish someone would ask me how I feel about it. I have a volume control on my remote for a reason. Thank goodness for the DVD boxed sets of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer." I own all seven seasons, which is good for those days when I simply am not in the mood to have my eardrums blasted.On the other hand, for days when I want that, I turn up the volumn...awww...open a Coke Classic, and let my nerves go where they may. It does a body good! Kinda. LOL.

Extra Credit: The song running through my mind right now is, "I Go Blind" by Hootie & The Blowfish. :)


-OndineMonet