Sunday, August 20, 2006

The Wife Of The Richest Man In The Fictional World

"Next to a circus, there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster then the Christmas spirit."

-Kin Hubbard

I can't believe we are very almost in September. Then again, it seems like every year goes faster and faster...without my consent. LOL. It's one of those secrets no one tells you when you are a young one of 21. They never tell you that as each year passes, it will all suddenly pick up speed somewhere around thirty, and as things start to sag, and your body turns on you, those sagging parts of yours will cause you to pick up speed, as you crest the age hill, and send you flying into oldness. Complete with "old people noises," forgetting where you parked your car, looking forward to going to bed before 10:00 PM... TO SLEEP, and the inability to tolerate spicy food. LOL. What was once wolf calls, is now replaced with, "can I help you to your car ma'am?"

I used to be a girl. Then I was a WOMAN. Ok, that is pretty cool, now I am a ma'am. That last characterization was the one I could have lived without. LOL. I was speaking to someone the other day about my future, "golden years," and I had to sigh. If it's all sagging this bad now...what will it be like in 20 years? Heck, will I be able to pick my knees up off the floor? And what about my boobs, which are now resting as shin guards? Will they difficult to roll up? My ear lobes now sit where my boobs should be, don't think that isn't an interesting sight, so I wonder, "is wearing shoulder duster earrings vulgar?"

Oh well. If the above picture is any indication of what my future could be like, then I do indeed have something to look forward to. After all, Santa did make Forbes Magazine's richest " Fictional Fifteen," list for 2002. In fact, Santa took first place on a list that included such wealthy characters as, Thurston Howell III, Bruce Wayne, Cruella Di Vil, and J.R. Ewing. With all that money I can have stuff, nipped, tucked, sucked, blown, removed, put on, tossed, pinched, prodded, and smoothed by the best plastic surgeons at the North Pole. See, Alan was once a mall Santa, so that makes me Mrs. Claus. Tee Hee. Say it with me now..."I believe, I believe!" LOL.

Note: I am also posting, for one week only, on my AOL Journal Ellipsis. Drop by and say hi. :) Should be a fun week, as I celebrate 3 years of blogging!

"Fun In The Sun"
Santa Cruz, California
August 11th, 2006

1 comment:

DesLily said...

Your "golden years" are your 40's.. trust me on this one.. after that it's the "awww hell, now what?" and the "What do you mean my medical insurance doesn't cover that?" years!