Monday, January 23, 2006

La Law

"We need a law that will permit a voter to sue a candidate for breach of promise."


It's been a while since I went jogging through the land of idiotic I thought to myself last night, "'s important to keep your friends and readers and readers of friends and lurkers and friends of lurkers and heck just the whole bleeping Internet up to date and well informed, should one of those folks decide to go on vacation. Heck...something really strange could happen and gas prices could come down. Who more scandal out of the Bush administration and we could all be getting gas for free. :) Hee Hee. Oh...come on...I tease the president. LOL. Heck he is a big fan of mine, why I bet he has a file on me this {>>>>>>>>>} thick. He keeps it stored at the Office of Homeland Security for safe keeping. I don't suppose he will be reading this entry however, since we all know HE is above the law...I mean he never does anything wrong...I mean...oh heck...on with the list. Be sure to take notes...

1. It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
2. Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
3. No persons may sell "blow-out nuts."

1. No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days.
2. One may not mutilate a rock in a state park.

1. Donkeys may not be kept in bathrooms.
2. All sex toys are banned.

1. You may not step out of a plane in flight.

1. The fine for waving a gun in public is higher than actually shooting it.
2. Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000 fine.

New Hampshire
1. It is illegal to pick seaweed up off the beach.
2. On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.

Rhode Island
1. Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or a lunatic is null and void. Section 11-40-1.
2. One must make a loud noise before passing a car on the left.

South Dakota
1. No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.
2. If there are more then 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them.

1. Driving while not wearing shoes is prohibited.
2. It is illegal to tickle women.

1. As people used to smuggle it in from Illinois, all yellow butter substitute is banned.
2. State law, at one time, made it illegal to serve apple pie in restaurants without cheese.
3. Tattooing is illegal unless it is done for medical reasons.
3. It is illegal to display an unclothed mannequin in a store window.

Thank goodness my favorite scofflaw mannequin lives here in Berkeley! Tee Hee.

"To retain respect for sausages and laws, one must not watch them in the making."

-Otto von Bismarck

"Sunbathing In Berkeley"
Berkeley, California
Spring, 2005


Phinney said...

ohmigod! i have broken one of these laws!


Karen Funk Blocher said...

Doesn't Arizona have any stupid laws? Well, we have the Stupid Motorist Law, but it's the motorist that's stupid, not the law. Hmm. Perhaps I should research this!


Globetrotter said...


Are these for real? Or did your incredibly creative head make them up? They are positively hilarious!

As far as Bush and his friends go, I just saw a poster for a new movie he is starring in with Rummey. It's called Dumbf--k Mountain, coming soon to a theatre near you.

Thanks for the giggle this morning!


Steven said...

I just looked up Texas wacky laws and found that "it is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel."

Does not say a darn thing about a residence...


Gaboatman said...

I'm applauding Rhode Island for it's marriage law! ROFL! As usual, you got a smile out of me this morning.

sunflowerkat said...

Obviously, some laws are made to be broken. We'll let it slide if W decides to step out of a plane in flight.

V said...

...........1. Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or a lunatic is null and void. Section 11-40-1............
Maybe Laura will get a divorce after the Presidency.