"Maybe you think life is not worth living, but is death worth dying for?"
I was very sad when I learned the news yesterday that Gia Allemand had passed away. I had been praying for her since hearing about her illness online the night before. There weren't many details, and truthfully, the details of why she had been hospitalized weren't the point, the point was that she was gravely ill, on life support, and as her friend said on Twitter, the next 48 hours were crucial. But less than 24 hours later the horrible news came... Gia Allamend has passed away at age 29. It's obscene, no one should die so young, and so vibrant! It wasn't until a few hours later last evening that the news came that Gia hadn't been struck down by some random bit of bad luck, or illness out of the blue, Gia had committed suicide.
I didn't know her personally, but I remember seeing her for the first time while she competed on ABC's The Bachelor: On The Wings Of Love. Which, by the way, was the worst of the Bachelor seasons I had personally watched. But not because of the show itself, and certainly not because of Gia, but rather because of the bachelor himself... Jake Pavelka. But this post isn't about him, it's about Gia, and the loss of her talent and potential. Again suicide had talked someone into making a bad, irreversible decision. Suicide is such a liar.
It tells you that if you pull that trigger, or take that leap from the window, or put the noose up just a little higher, all your pain will end, but it doesn't remind you that so will all your joys. Days filled with amazing smiles that you can't imagine, are just waiting to happen for you. One simple act, means you will never see your wedding day, feel your children birth from your body, grow old with the one person in the world who loves you, faults and all, and still sees you as a girl of 20, when you are an old woman of 70. Sunsets are so beautiful that there are no words to describe them. I could go on. But we all have those things that we love. The things that keep us getting up every day. The life affirming moments that each day has, as long as we keep them in our heart.
I don't know what Gia's personal demons were. She seemed quite loved and respected. Maybe she didn't exactly know what those demons were either. I make no judgement about her choices, including her decision to end her life. Suicide is a very personal decision. But I do hope, and wish that the next person contemplating this act, decides to pick up the phone and call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and talk it through. Perhaps be open to a different point of view. If it's Monday, and suicide is all you can think about, rather than taking that step, take a pause, ask some questions, talk to a friend, pray, cry, yell, whatever because, after all, Tuesday is only a few hours away, and who knows how many problems can be solved in just a few short hours, that don't have to last the lifetime's of those you leave behind.
Rest In Peace, Gia Allemand. Maybe God Hold You Close Always.
"Keep Passing The Open Windows"
~John Irving, The Hotel New Hampshire