"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."-Herm Albright, quoted in Reader's Digest 6/95
Well, today I am off to see my personal care physician for the first time since I was diagnosed with diabetes last July. I am kind of nervous about it. Have I been doing everything right? Are my mg/dl numbers good enough? Will she and I be speaking about all the nasty complications that could one day, well, you know? Am I feeling sorry for myself? Well, yeah, kind of I suppose. I am doing ok, actually, I am doing really well, but I guess this is just one of those days when I am a little scared about what will come next. My former therapist, Sarah, used to tell me that "It is perfectly ok to have days when you feel sad. No apologies need be given for how you feel. Everyone feels sad about something from time to time." She is right, everyone does, so why do I feel so defeated by sadness?
I am sure the reason for my mood is fear of the unknown. If you have known me for any length of time, you know I how much I hate change, and the unknown. So, I know that by 3:00 PM today, I will be in a better frame of mind. Or at least I will have a clearer understanding of things. Taking the fear out of what makes you afraid is a powerful process, but once you go out on that limb, and not only survive it but conquer it, it is so empowering. EMPOWERING... now there is a great word! :) One thing is for sure, I am going to come home afterwards, and have a nice, long, bubble bath, a couple chocolate dipped strawberries, and a long, cleansing cry. Gosh I am looking forward to that!
My Goals As Instructed By My Doctor
Fasting 90-130 mg/dl
2-2 1/2 hrs After Meal Less Than 170
Current Readings
**All Results Averages (Overall)
7 Days - 129
14 Days - 128
30 Days - 123
**Before Meals
7 - Days - 112
14 Days - 110
30 Days - 108
**After Meals
7 - Days - 137
14 Days - 133
30 - Days - 131
UPDATE: The doctor was pleased with my numbers, very pleased! I have my fasting A1C test on Wednesday, and I will write a follow up entry later this week or early next week after I get the results. My doctor is predicting, based on my numbers, that I might have lowered my A1C... here's to hope!
-OndineMonet
"A Walk Through Tilden"
Tilden Park
Berkeley, California
October 20, 2007
Late Afternoon
6 comments:
Hello Carly,
I had to come and leave you a comment. I have to tell you that I agree with you I hate change and the unknown. I and my coworkers have had to experience some rather upsetting change at work and I am having a hard time adjusting to it. I wanted to thank you for this entry. It did make me feel that someone feels the same way as I do about...change. I so enjoy reading your writing and your thoughts and the quotes you share. Thanks again Carly.
Yes, here's to hope my friend!
Good girl.
By the way, I just posted an entry on MY Doctor's visit today too. (Notions of Nancy)
Check it out. ; )
PS.
My link:
http://journals.aol.com/nhd106/notions-of-nancy/
Congrats on doing so well at controlling your numbers, Carly! I'm so glad to hear you're doing well.
And I agree. Change bites.
I remember my first year as a T2 and the tears and anger and finally control over it, and not "it" over me. Great numbers and I'm sure the A1C is going to reflect that.
Well done! See, all your efforts are paying off!
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