John Scalzi's Weekend Assignment #175: TV or Bacon?

"Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home."

-David Frost

Weekend Assignment #175: TV or Bacon? By which I mean, you have to choose one of these two things. Whichever you choose, you get to continue to enjoy. The one you don't, you lose forever. So, which will you choose? The pixellated, phosphorescent pleasures of television's hundreds of channels? Or the smoky, meaty pleasures of bacon? You must choose!

Why TV and bacon? Well, because they are two things most people seem to like, and they are (usually) entirely unrelated, which makes choosing between more interesting.

Caveats: Assume "TV" also to mean any form of entertainment originally broadcast or intended for TV; no 'well I'll just watch Heroes on my computer" weaseling out allowed (you can still watch movie DVDs on your computer). If you're a vegetarian and/or Jewish and/or Muslim (and therefore don't eat bacon), you may substitute some other beloved food product, but it has it has close to bacony experience as your dietary restrictions allow. For non-Americans, assume that all bacon sub-types are involved here, not merely the narrow American definition of it. Got it? Excellent.

Also: Aside from dietary restriction scenarios, no "bacon' substitutions, like Kevin Bacon or Roger Bacon. Honestly. That's just silly.

Extra Credit: Current favorite TV show and/or variety of bacon.

-John Scalzi (By The Way)

Decisions, decisions. Well, actually, this great question of the ages, isn't all that difficult for me. While I really love bacon, I can, and have, gone great lengths of time without eating it. I actually don't eat a lot of meat in general. I am not really a vegetarian, but I do find myself eating a lot more vegetables for my main course choices, such as a nice dinner salad, or a veggie pizza. So, if I ever really did have to choose between TV or bacon, I would definitely give up bacon! Especially considering the hundreds of enjoyable hours of TV I have watched in my 45 years. Bacon can make you smile with it's yummy goodness, but can it make you laugh till your sides hurt?

The above YouTube clip is one of my all time favorite moments from TV. It is an episode of Taxi, from September 25th, 1979, titled, "Reverend Jim: A Space Odyssey." The first time I saw it I laughed so hard, that I was actually sore the next day, and over the years, it hasn't ceased to be just as funny to me. I was thrilled today, to find the 5 minute clip on YouTube, and enjoy it once again. TV.com says about the episode that, "the yellow light scene, is widely acknowledged as one of the funniest moments in American network television." It is certainly one of my favorite episodes of any network television show. :) It's just that funny!

To have a sense of humor is so important to we mortals. It has been proven that laughing is not only good for the soul, but it is vital to our physical well being. Someone once said that, "laughter is the best medicine," and I know from personal experience, it's absolutely true! Bacon... not so much. Let's face it, bacon is at it's best, when it is on a big, juicy hamburger, surrounded by half a jar of mayonnaise. Yep, that is a treat to be sure, but it won't prolong my life. Sigh. But television, on the other hand, informs, entertains, sometimes it inspires, and lets face it, we need it at this point. We need the cartoons when we need to shut out the real world. We need our TV's because of days like 9/11. We need the dramas, so that sometimes we can just cry. We especially need the comedy for all those times when we really do need to take life less seriously. Yeah... I choose TV! :)

Extra Credit: I look forward to many different shows, it's hard to choose just one. So, how about I list my top 5...

1. Desperate Housewives
2. 2 1/2 Men
3. Ghost Hunters
4. Lost
5. King of the Hill

My favorite type of bacon would have to be, Oscar Meyer Center Cut. It's wonderfully delicious and fries up nice and crispy. :)

Be sure to click on the YouTube video, to enjoy a very funny 5 minutes of television history. :)

-OndineMonet