"A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture everyday of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God implanted in the human soul."
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Ok, so, I had a human moment yesterday...I got angry. The previous entry I wrote in this blog was written at the height of passion, and I meant every word. As good as it felt to sit down to my own blog, open up a vein of my existence, and write an entry that came from deep within my soul...it's not a good feeling to feel that way inside, even if the pain of the emotion soon passes. See, I used to think that anger was inappropriate, something to be avoided at all cost. Anger was something you should deny. One day, one horrible life changing day, I found out how wrong I had been.
I can sit right here and tell you that I have endured my worst day on earth. I didn't think I would when it was happening to me, but survive it I did. I went nuts in the process, but that one particular day didn't kill me, at least not physically. As I went about my recovery, I learned that anger is not something to be feared, or avoided, or thought of as a weakness. Anger is a part of healing. It is one of the five stages of grief...all of us will go through it at one point or another...and when we reach the other side of the pain...we will be healed. I needed to put out that shout yesterday, because I love America, I love my life, I love the freedom of being able to share my life with you through my blog, I love my cat, I love my husband, both more then life itself, and I love the arts. I hate the thought of the possibility that we in America could see a day worse then what we had to see on 9/11. Enough said.
Time to feel normal again. To do that, I focus my energy toward the arts. There is a place here in Berkeley where one can go to embrace everything that is right with the world. That place is the Addison Street Art Walk. Addison street is filled with art and music and poetry all along the avenue. One of my favorite mediums is the poetry plates that line the street on both sides. Some poems were submitted by up and coming poets, some of the poetry plates contain the lyrics to songs, some of the plates quote Shakespeare's sonnets, and even one of two are from the beat generation poets such as Allen Ginsberg, who actually lived a couple blocks over from Addison Street when he wrote part of his once banned work, "Howl." Addison street saves my soul sometimes. Here is one of those beautiful poems that I read today, that reminded me of how good passion in life can feel.
In These Dark Times
You must feel loved when you read this.
Lean against the back of the hand
stroking the back of your neck. Relax.
In the pocket where you once kept marbles
In a bag full of kisses
Open it. Let it go.
Someone is humming in the next room
with a throaty laugh at every missed note
because mistakes don't matter.
No, don't go see
You don't even have to listen.
You are loved.
There's a warm smell coming from the kitchen
and a puppy's nibbling your slippers
but you are too comfortable to get angry.
There are so many people who want this.
Believe me, they are not your enemies.
I am so lucky to have a safe place to go to embrace the beauty of the world, I am so lucky to have my cat sitting on my lap ready to pat away my tears, and no matter what tomorrow brings my way...I am lucky to have that sunrise. Everything is normal again.
"Berkeley Poetry Walk"
July 4th, 2006
My 2017 Reading List
11 months ago