Garden Gnomes And Codeine

"Do not all charms fly at the mere touch of cold philosophy? There was an awful rainbow once in heaven; we know her woof, her texture; she is given in the dull catalogue of common things. Philosophy will clip an angel's wings, conquer all mysteries by rule and line, empty the haunted air, and gnome mine unweave a rainbow."
- John Keats

Strange...Very strange. Tuesday will mark the fifth anniversary of when Alan and I moved into our little cottage in the hills. In some ways it has been a blink, in other ways it has seemed to drag. I was just thinking the other day about how we lived in our first home, a three story walk-up apartment, for the first eight years of our married life, and all was bliss...well...most of the time. LOL. No marriage is completely blissful, that is one of those things no one chooses to share with you before you get married. Oh, don't get me wrong, there were signs of such here and there. And if my some reason you do happen to miss the clues about marriage having it's moments, there are always soap operas to clue you in.

They always struggle to bring the hero and the heroine together, despite insurmountable odds, only to have them marry in an elaborate ceremony then within six months one or both of the lovers will be plotting the other ones untimely demise. LOL. Well, it's justified, I mean we can't have a boringly happily married couple saving the world...right? LOL.Fortunately Alan and I have always found the adventure in our life together. LOL. Well, I am happy to report...the adventure continues!

If you were reading Ellipsis when it was on AOL, you may remember my little run in with the freaky garden gnome that lives in my back yard. Just in case you missed that adventure here is the basic details. When I moved into my cottage, I was blessed with not just a comfy new home, but the property it sits on, which is more like a small park, then a back yard. It has five fruit trees, and a lot of space to get lost in. It is in a safe place, so I can pretty much feel safe about going for a walk on the property and taking a nap under one of those trees on a warm summer day. No worries. Well, except for the gnome. See, when I moved in here, there were two creatures that were here first, and who I would have to agree to share the space with. A black, ceramic duck, and a freaky garden gnome. I say freaky, because he tends to move about the yard...all on his own.

Truly. I will place him under the lemon tree, and then the next morning he will somehow be sitting on the patio. YIKES. I thought for a time that maybe the opossums, might be moving him, they have quite a sense of humor you know, but no, I think not. Hmmmm. Anyway, one day last year I fell out of a tree, and landed on the gnome, injuring my leg. LOL. Go ahead and laugh...it was funny. That will teach a forty-something woman to climb a tree in search of the perfect photo opportunity. LOL. So, I was off my feet for a few days, and thoroughly looped on pain killers, when the crazy thing ended up tripping me again. This time in my own office. No, he hadn't wandered into the house on his own, Alan had put him inside one night to give him a coat of paint, and he thought my office would be a good place to put him that was out of the way. Uh huh. Kaboom...

So, fast forward a year to now. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia late last year. I am doing well, learning to find my groove, and learning to take care of myself, but even though there are still the occasional days when it really doesn't matter how hard I try to concentrate...my brain simply won't work the way I want it to. That's ok, it makes for an interesting time. LOL. Like the conversation I had with Alan early yesterday morning, when I held a very intelligent conversation with him while I was sound asleep. It's one he won't forget anytime soon, and I learned that I can still get embarrassed, even around someone who I have been married to for almost 15 years.

Generally speaking, I usually do my writing and photo editing between the hours of 10:00 PM and 5:00 AM. See, Alan snores the roof off, so it makes sense to do my cleaning and creative pursuits during those hours, then I go to bed when he leaves for work. I sleep till about 12:00 noon, get up, and by the time he comes home at 2:30, I am ready to spend the afternoon with him. Well, sometimes I get tired easily now, and staying up all night simply isn't an option. Last night, I was tired, but I felt ok, so I kept to my usual schedule. Well, almost. What I did differently was to get up from my desk, sit back in my favorite recliner, and turn of a rerun of "Dharma and Greg." I don't know when I fell asleep, but I was out cold.

About 5:30 AM or so, I heard Alan, laughing his butt off, and asking me, "what the hell does THAT mean?" Well, I didn't know myself, but I knew somehow I had gone off course. I woke up with words coming out of my mouth, and NO idea who it was saying them. LOL. To the best of my knowledge, I have never heard myself talking in my sleep. LOL. I gotta tell you...it's weird! LOL. Ok, so here's how it went...

I, at some point, got up from the recliner, and came into the bedroom with Alan. He was lying in bed, grabbing those last couple, "one more minute," moments. As I got into bed, he asked me if he could tell me what had happened at work the day before. "Sure", I said..."absolutely." Apparently, he began to tell me that he had some silliness come up regarding a supervisor who double scheduled him, and he was having trouble getting the time straightened out. It wasn't a big problem, but it was one of those stupid scenerios that happen in life. You know...silly stuff. Well, I was listening VERY closely, he said my eyes never blinked once. When he was finished conveying the situation to me, I responded by sharing that, "Well Alan, THAT's exactly my point. THAT is why America has a poet laureate after all. To make sure the opossums put the gnome back in it's proper place. And don't forget the cheese!" ROFLMAO! "Carly, we have a poet laureate to handle my scheduling woes?" LOL. "No, of course not Alan...huh?"

I heard the last few words, and wanted to know myself what that meant. LOL. Oh boy, is that what it's like? Talking in your sleep? It was so surreal. I was only a tiny bit spooked after that. I managed to get back to sleep, but I did wonder why the gnome had been on my mind, since I try so hard to not think about it. It gives me the wiggins, but I don't have the heart to get rid of it. I can be such a schmuck sometimes, but the thing is...he was here first. And besides...what if he came back? That would be a whole other deal completely! LOL. So, I have learned to peacefully co-exist with the gnome. Last night's little adventure probably had more to do with the Codeine I am taking for the back pain which is exacerabted by the Fibromyalgia. Still, there are times when I have to wonder, can an inanimate object REALLY be out to get you? LOL.

Tell me, have you ever encountered an inanimate object that for some reason, seemed as if it didn't like you? Share your story with us. Also, have you ever talked and or walked in your sleep? What did you do? Where did you go? What did you say? Was stress the cause or did you just spontaneously do it? As for the gnome in the above photo...he's isn't my freaky gnome, I have never wanted to photograph him, well, not without his permission. That would just be rude! LOL.

-OndineMonet
NOTE: Ted Kooser, is our current Poet Laureate. He was appointed in April of 2005 by, James H. Billington, the Librarian of Congress. Kosser is the 2004 winner of the Pultizer Prize for poetry for "Delights and Shadows."