"I can't believe out of a hundred thousand sperm, you were the quickest." -Steven Pearl
It's a brand new year in the fictional town of Berkeley California. As you know, I am no longer Mayor of Berkeley because I was chosen "Pork Queen" at the "Winter Ball" and I am no longer "Pork Queen" because of my illegally spreading SPAM on the Internet, so I have gone back to my previous occupation...Romance Writer/Brain Surgeon. I was performing a lobotomy on my 3rd and 9th husband Rex Juan Don-Carlo MacKinsey, when one of the muses bit me on my butt and gave me the inspiration for my next romance novel, titled "Heading Back to The Love I Lost On A Beach In Saint Lucia While Snorkeling Nude." I know the title seems a bit long, but it's a grabber huh?
The new year brought a few surprises. My half-sister, the longshoremen, Bitty, was unloading a trawler when she suddenly, spontaneously gave birth to twins. With one sneeze, out they came. She didn't know she was pregnant, so imagine her surprise! Two boys, one named Rumor and the other named Trivia. Rumor was born with a full set of teeth and 13 toes, Trivia was born with a full head of hair and an extra nipple. Now that she is a Mom, Bitty has gone back to her former occupation...Sword Swallower. Good thing there is a high demand for them, as Berkeley can be somewhat of a circus. Her ex-boyfriend the de-seated Senator, Phillipe Timothy Steven Montoya, is joining her soon to help raise the young ones. Oh no, not again...Really folks, don't take a nap after snacking on raw Oysters and Red Cream soda.
Note: I am still under the weather, so, I thought I would bring you an Ellipsis flashback. This entry was originally written on January 16th, 2004 and is part two of my soap opera parody "As The Stomach Burns."
"New Rose" 1/15/06