"Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you."
When I was blogging exclusively on AOL, I swore that I was a member of the very best journaling community on the Internet. I didn't mind that AOL didn't have all the custom bells and whistles that other blog servers did. I didn't mind that there was irritating quirks from time to time with the software, because I had realized, not too long after I began Ellipsis, that it wasn't the bells and whistles...it was the individual people who wrote in those journals and blogs that made it the best journals community on the Internet.
Friendships formed on the world wide web can be difficult to maintain. The first friend I ever made, I met in a chat room. She was a lovely lady and we shared many things in common. We unfortunately parted ways over a situation that somehow couldn't be resolved, or at least it seemed so at the time. I still think about her often and I always wished her well, and I still miss her happy energy. Sometimes in life things take odd turns and often it really isn't anyone's fault, everyone has a comfort zone or a code of ethics and therefore they must do what's right for them. I miss her however...even to this day.
The next friend I made, I made by accident one day. I was lonely and decided to reach out so I decided to see who was online in the AOL member directory. I saw someone's profile who seemed to share a lot of my interests, and we talked for a little while, and we have been good friends ever since. It was a nice, happy surprise. I was weary of friendships of any kind, I was just beginning to emerge from Anhedonia, and was a little tired. I tried to go out on a limb, I mean, what's the worst that could happen? As a matter of fact...what was the best that could happen? That's right I made a very good friend.
But back to Journal Land. I think an even bigger surprise, then finding a good friend in the sea of strangers that is the AOL Directory, was finding a whole community of friends that shared my passions. Politics, history, art, music, cats, cooking, ghosts, museums, you name it, and along came a friend. I can't tell you how good it felt to learn little by little I was interesting to someone. I now have had some of these friends for nearly three years. People who I can email when I am in a panic and say, "I am scared, will you think good thoughts for me?" People who I can just be myself around, and who already understand before I even say what the problem is. Recently I asked some of my friends to do my Johari Window. I was surprised at how many took a couple moments to help me with that fun little meme. Thanks again everyone. I guess I take it for granted that I am nothing special, not because I have low self esteem, but because I am surrounded with people who possess great talent and who are compassionate and endearing.
When a good portion of AOL bloggers and journalists made the decision to join in the exodus from AOL to other parts of the Internet, I didn't fear for a moment that I would lose anyone who I had come to care about. I brought them with me and they are on my sidebar or in my bloglines listing. I have had some difficulty keeping in touch as well as I want to, but they are in my heart all the same. It's a good feeling to know that I am still among some of the finest people I have ever known.
Recently, when I needed some support due to some health concerns, I received some very special emails and comments, that both informed me about what to expect from my coming Mammogram, and suggestions about how to ease my nerves as the date for the test approaches. See, I wasn't feeling very courageous earlier last week, but with the help of my friends and readers, I feel good about going in for my test next week. And I promise to keep you up to date. In fact, I am taking the digital camera with me, so you never know what photos I might decide to post! WINK!
As if my heart wasn't warmed enough, I got a very nice email the other day from my darling Natalie, she emailed me to ask if it was ok if she wrote an entry about me. I was touched that she thought enough about me to do that, I smiled the rest of the day. After the entry posted, I found out that Paul, author of the journal, "Aurora Walking Vacation," had also mentioned me and my current journal in an entry and Karen said that she had as well. It was overwhelming, but in a very nice way. I have to admit, my first reaction is always, "what do they see in me?" A good friend responded to that question the other night with, " you can make people smile, and you listen...sometimes that all people really want...someone to listen." I like listening, when I do, I hear all kinds of music. Yeah, that's what it's like...each journal author is like a different song, playing for the world to hear, if the world will just take the time to listen. Natalie is a song, Karen is a song, Steven is a song, Paul is a song. I have always enjoyed all kinds of music, and I am so lucky to be just one note in such a beautiful symphony. And yeah, if I had met Einstein, I think he would have liked me. :)
PS If you haven't done my Johari Window yet and would like to join in the fun, just go here. And if you make one and want me to play along either email me the link or come back here and leave me a link. :)
Make your own silly Einstein pic here.
Note: I found the fun Einstein site by way of, "By The Way." LOL. Check out John Scalzi's entry here.
Fighting the Foo
2 years ago